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” He reached down to kiss me, but I turned my head so that his lips landed on my cheek. When he pulled back, he seemed a bit annoyed, but didn’t stop dancing. “Are all three of you still in college?” I asked. “Yeah. It’s our last year. Graduating next month.” “You’re all over 18 then, including Lionel?” “Yeah, we’re all legal – hey, wait a second. Are you jonesing for Lionel?” He seemed flabbergasted at the idea. “I mean, he’s okay, but me and Zeke – “ “Can fuck anyone you want,” I said, smiling up at him. “Yeah, and I want to fuck you,” he said, choosing to be just as blunt as I had been. “Sorry, Derek, I don’t just fuck anyone anymore.” “But you’ll fuck Lionel?” “I might. I sympathize with him. I just came out of a bad relationship and I know how he feels. Rejection really sucks.” “I wouldn’t know,” Derek said, grimacing, obviously not liking how this was turning out. “Well, you do now,” I said, but not unkindly, and kissed his cheek. I didn’t leave him then, not wanting to. For a moment I thought it might have been a dream and started looking for some evidence on the bed. I found some long strands of my mother's hair on the pillow beside mine. I got little assured and looked for some sex-liquid stains on the blanket. I did see three dried stains where the cloth was stiff. I had a chill running through my spine as I realised its not a dream. I felt a lot a guilt. I could not find enough guts to walk outside my room. I stayed there as long as I could. Good it was a Sunday. After few hours my mother knocked on the door to get me up as it is approaching noon. It was after her call, I had a bit of my confidence back in me. I quickly went into the bathroom for my morning chores. I tried to avoid my mother for another half an hour or so until she called me to eat my lunch. That day has been a horrible day for both of us. We never talked. In fact the silence continued for a few more days. Good thing I have a job to go to otherwise I would have become mad with.
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