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First of all, did you notice the cord on the vibrator? You know, the thing your girlfriend was trying to plug into the cigarette lighter? You see, this particular vibrator doesn't use batteries which you and your girlfriend would have known had either of you bothered to read the instructions! So that one's on you two. Just remember this Jay. I'm Santa. I know where everyone lives, including you. Next Christmas, instead of presents, I might just burn your house down. Suck on that one!P. S. Mother Fucker!Whoa! Santa had a little relapse there. It's a good thing I didn't invite Jay to the show. Good thing for him. So anyway, our next letter is from Steve in Texas.Dear Santa, you brought me a DVD called The Red Hot Hotties which I was really enjoying and then just when the scene was getting really hot, the picture froze. I tried to fast forward, skip, stop and restart, none of which worked. I even tried cleaning the surface of the disk which also didn't work. It just kept freezing at the. She agreed and when she tried it, she did like it. Gotta love a girl that tries new things!Over the next hour and a half or so, we spoke about all kinds of things from school to interest in movies to playing games from the late 90's and early 00's. Mia was pretty cool and we had a lot of similar interests. It's funny that it never occurred to me to use this to get in her pants, I guess I was still satisfied with what I had with Li. As the evening wound down, we drove back to the apartments and she made the offer to cook me some Brazilian dishes next week if I helped her and brought a movie with me. Of course I accepted and we made a date for next Friday.On Tuesday, I called in my take out from Li's restaurant and Li herself answered the phone. As I placed my order, she whispered that she had an hour and I told her to come right over. When she arrived, she'd bundled up more than previous visits, it had been a chilly day. A tight light green sweater and light blue jeans clung to her.
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