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I confided and did strange things during sex–might that incredible emotion have been only a queer impostor? It still lingered as a burn in my breast, but perhaps I had imagined it into being. I had never outright told a man I wanted him or that I loved him. I teased, I glanced, I provoked, and I let myself be taken, but never gave anything back. I liked to pretend I was being forced, because then I expressed nothing of my own desires. I only took a man’s desire, played with it, and threw it back in his face. Could I really have changed so much in one night? Had I really given Deadman my heart and soul? Did I have a heart and soul to give? In this small, shabby bedroom, the events of the night seemed like a dream. I was no authority on emotional attachment, having used physical connection as a substitute for it my entire life. Perhaps Deadman’s face and touch had expressed nothing more than his carnal desires. I sat up and looked for my clothes. They weren’t on the floor, but they. As we kissed, I reached for the buttons of your blouse and slowly started unbuttoning them. I broke off the kiss to kiss your neck, kissing up and nibbling on your earlobes.“I want you so badly,” I whispered in your ear while nibbling it.“Me too,” you sighed.All your buttons undone, I reached behind and unhooked your bra, and pulled it down to expose your breasts. I leaned back looking at first, the desire to kiss them overwhelming in intensity, I soon took your delectably hard nipples between my lips, first right, then left, and back and forth between them.My hand was behind you, exploring the sensation of your back. But I needed more of your skin exposed, so without moving away from the door, I pushed your blouse back over your shoulder and it fell to the floor. Now your bra came off and fell to the floor as well.It was time to move to the bedroom.Abandoning your clothes in the hallway by the door, I took your hand and led you to the bedroom.“Do the roses symbolize your desire?” you.
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