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I said, "Suppose I said I was a woman, would you let me go?"He said, "There may be complications but probably."I asked, "What complications?" to which I was told that of a charge ofadultery with a married man. It was explained that this was a much lessserious charge than homosexuality. There would be a hearing rather thanan instant stoning which is what I was currently facing within the nextfew hours. The hearing could be a few days away and there could bepossible appeals. However, if I signed the paper saying I was a womanthen the immediate threat of stoning for both of us would be removed. Iwaited until I was about to be led into the courtyard for stoning andthen signed the paper.The men left the cell and a woman came in holding some women's clothes.I was told to put them all on and she left. There was a pair of lacy redknickers and a matching bra, one of those long black robes that go fromneck to foot and a headscarf and a pair of flat women's shoes. I thoughtabout my options and. ."I'm sure the doctor saw the shock on my face, so he stopped for a momentto allow me to digest this information.My left arm was connected to monitors and I.V.'s and I couldn't reallymove it, so releasing my mother's grip on my right hand I reached down tomy groin and found that there was indeed less there than had been before...much less.After a few moments, and once the doctor saw that I understood andconfirmed what he was saying, he continued. "A penis has several bloodvessels going to it, so to be amputated outside of a medical facilityusually results in a large loss of blood, and is quite often fatal.Quite frankly, you are lucky to be alive."Seething anger... I do not know what the 5 steps of acceptance are, oreven if there are 5, but I do know at this point I was feeling anger andhatred. Some piece of crap excuse of a human being had done this to meand I was suddenly feeling a level of hate never before experienced in mylife. I wanted to find this lousy excuse of a human.
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