It's okay to move on."Tears formed in Nichole's eyes. "I know that. I really do. Everything but my heart says the same thing. Today would have been three years since the day."Nichole buried her face in her hands. Sobs wracked her body. Terra pulled Nichole close and held her for a long time."I'm sorry," Nichole said after her tears subsided. She wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I didn't mean to ruin your day." Oh, it's not ruined," Terra replied tenderly. "No day with you is ruined." Thanks," her cousin managed a smile.Terra absently ran her fingers through Nichole's hair. The two sat in silence for a while longer. Finally, Nichole sat up and brushed the last of her tears away. "I think I'd rather be alone today." Are you sure?" Terra looked worried."Yes, I'm sure."Terra paused for a moment, not sure if she should leave her cousin alone when she was so distraught, so vulnerable. "Okay, but you call me if you need anything." I will."Nichole walked her cousin to the apartment door. Terra. When he gets all wound up in work, sex is the last thing on his mind. Me? When I used to work, I had a fuck buddy, car, closet, hotel room, wherever. Now in the mornings I often masturbate in front him while he’s getting dressed, yet he just watches. Sometimes if he had a hard day at work or if the laptop is out at night, and I get real fucking hot and horny and in desperate need of a good lay, nothing. Now you have to understand…he doesn’t fuck me, he ‘makes love to me’. I hate those words, I feel like vomiting every time I think about the words. But having sex with the man I love is good and I enjoy it, but it is not fucking. He touches me with his fingers and licks me till I cum. Then he “loves” me till he cums. Sometimes he will get me off a second time, but that is pretty much it. It is good, the thrusting, sweating, pounding, but it is not enough. I need more then that! Even after we’ve had sex, I often finger fuck myself at least once or twice before bed. If I.
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