Was blonde. Was very blonde due to Sun-In. Was tan. Was pretty fucking cute. Was being very brave because I hung out with punks, losers, dorks and retards but I really wanted to lose my virginity to a boy based solely on his looks, since I couldn't find one who was worth my time, and I was fucking horny living among all those pliable sun-bleached-brained boys.Sauntered around surfer boy party looking for boy to fuck. Wanted sex unbelievably badly would possibly explode upon contact. Girls looked at me knowing that I'd come alone, I didn't like any of them, it wasn't my scene, and I was invading their boy cliques. Held beer in keg cup and eyed up every last one of them fearlessly, I respected none of them and I walked as if in a force field, eyes roving like the Terminator's.There were 4 boys that all girls wanted. They were the shining stars of El Toro High School. They were known as the Grommets, like the fish that played in the ocean in the day and fucked on the beach at night.. ‘What is it Rae? Whatever is the matter?’ Shaking her head, Rae sighed. ‘I don’t know. I was sitting out here remembering the past, thinking about how I, how we, got here. Remembering the people that are gone.’ She shook her head. ‘And now with war coming and we have to leave…’ she shook her head again. Brushing away the tears she turned and looked back out over the darkened cityscape. After a period of silence she said softly, almost whispering, ‘I’ve just been thinking a lot lately about what I really gave up for this… life.’ Her final word was bitter with irony. ‘My Dadda, a family, maybe a child or two.’ She looked at Vala and forced a smile. ‘Maybe three or four.’ She looked up at Vala and whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek, ‘I always thought I would have been a good mother.’ Vala smiled comfortingly at her friend and stroked her arm. ‘You would have been a wonderful mother.’ Swallowing hard, Rae continued, ‘I suppose I was just feeling melancholy tonight, alone up here.
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