The first dreams were of me, old and alone, going to Steven’s fiftieth wedding anniversary party and seeing him with his wife, who wasn’t anyone I knew. I dreamed of me crying, and telling him I loved him, while he and his wife laughed and held hands. Those nightmares eventually gave way to images of Steven, horribly battered, dead in my emergency room. In every dream, I knew that it was I who had killed him, even if I’d had no direct connection with the horrors that had been the cause of his traumatic deaths. I would beg his dead body for forgiveness, and never receive it. I was interrupted from my agitated sleep by the telephone ringing. I awoke with a sob, trying to strangle it in the back of my throat. My face felt tight from the dried tears that had trickled down them before I fell asleep. I considered letting the machine pick up the call, but with the images of Steven’s corpse in my head, I knew I had to answer it. I rolled over and picked up the phone without even opening my. Inside they'd changed it from a loo, the unit had been swapped for a sturdy looking chair wide enough for just about two people to fit, and they'd cut gloryholes with small sliding shutters into both sides. In front of me is a guy, maybe a tad younger than me trousers and pants around his ankles a hardcore porn magazine in one hand, cock in the other jacking off. He's bent right over ass in the air facing me, he's looking through the gloryhole watching the guy getting sucked off, when i open the door he turns his head to face me and for about a second we just have eye contact, reacting out i caress his ass and ask "are you offering" he jumps up and moves away from me, i smile a little and tell him "oh, i see, you like watching" Maybe i'd been dating a submissive girl too long but i wanted too tease him "well, if you let me have that magazine i'll let you watch me use it", after a sec of eyeing me up he says "if i can cum over you". I put my hand out and he hands me the magazine, I.
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